With #MeToo still blazing, a lot of us are being triggered.
Or, we’re just discovering that what we thought was normal shit we had to put up with was actually systemic abuse!
If you’re not sure had to handle your reaction right now, or where to start in terms of long-term healing, here’s a guide.
I created the 3Ps of healing as a framework for survivors.
It’s not a process, exactly. More like a way for us to look at our own trauma, understanding how, specifically, we might be affected. Generally and in any particular moment.
The 3 Ps are:
(which includes all emotions but also acting on our truest desires)
- Are my emotions running very high these days?
- Am I feeling numb?
- Am I distracted, often, by rage, sadness, or other strong emotions?
- Am I having a lot of flashbacks, intense memories, or revenge fantasies right now?
If emotions (or signs of PTSD) are the way your trauma has affected you–or is affecting you now–you might concentrate on this area.
Remedies: therapy, meditation, yoga, relaxation techniques, getting off social media (at least temporarily)
(sexual for sure, but also the juiciness of aliveness)
- Do I give myself downtime?
- Do I feel deserving of extensive self-care, like a massage, a walk in the woods, or a few hours reading?
- Do I ask for what I want from my partner or friends, especially when it would delight me?
- Do I enjoy my body?
If your life feels overbusy all the time, or lacking in juiciness, you might concentrate on this area.
Remedies: a scheduled pleasure hour once a week (an hour devoted to anything you love doing), anything else that brings you delight
(in all its manifestations)
- Do I believe I can achieve what I want in life?
- Do I have faith in my ability to be successful?
- Do I have trouble saying no?
- Do I ask for what I need?
If you don’t believe you can create meaningful change in your life, that you don’t feel equipped, concentrate on this area.
Remedies: therapy, EMDR, any program for overcoming negative beliefs, create your own support group, a weekly pleasure hour
Dealing with sexual trauma can be overwhelming. The 3Ps just give us a way to narrow down our overall work, and troubleshooting.
I hope it makes your moment clearer and better and more joyful.